Wednesday, May 30, 2018
Week 5- Arisa Grevan- Adolescence
Reading chapter 8 in LifeSmart, brought attention to so many factors that we as adults almost forget we went through, well maybe not all, but for me it seems so long ago. I forget why I made the choices I did at the time, but when I look back I say to myself, "Well it was because of how I was raised and because I feared disappointing my parents and my grandparents." I related to the point in the chapter review where they discuss the changes that have occurred in American families and the roles parents and grandparents play in an adolescences life. The text states that American families have lost many traditional functions and the only thing technically remaining is affection as a family. Divorce rates contribute to this as well. I feel I was very fortunate having both parents in the home growing up and through my adolescent years. When my parents were at work, I still had to check in with my grandparents at 12 to 16 years old.
Not only did my parents, (mainly my Mom) talk to me about sex, but so did my grandmother. They weren't long drawn out conversations, but more than anything the point was to respect myself and my body. When I was about 12 years old, my god sister, who was a senior in high school got pregnant. She, against her parents will, decided to keep the baby. I watched her belly grow, I watched her miss out on prom, I watched her miss out on her last year of high school. After her baby girl was born, I then watched her struggle with college, dating, and working. With out the help of her parents and family, it seemed as if it would be quite impossible for a 19 year old to be able to do this. Maybe this life experience of mine opened my eyes and pushed me into believing in abstinence, at least until after high school. Today, her daughter is going to get married this summer at the age of 22. She is in a church group and very religious like Shelby Knox. Also, vowed to be abstinent like Shelby did as well. Completely different than what her mom was and is. I always wondered if maybe her mom instilled god in her more because she didn't want her daughter to go through what she did. I never really asked but I always admired her young daughter's will to stand out and not give into peer pressure and be like the rest of her peers.
I'd like to touch a little bit on Sexual Identity. I have many friends in the LGBT community and each one of their stories is different. Some sad, and some not as sad as others. What I will say is to young teens that are feeling different or unsure of their sexuality, that they are not alone out there. There are Organizations helping younger teens and their families get through what may be a hard time, there are alliances in schools now and I couldn't be more proud to see that in some of the high schools I have worked in. My friends say that was unheard of 15-30 years ago.
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Arisa, I too had great family support and expectations growing up. I have a family member who had 5 children by the time she was 21. She had not had good family support but after the pregnancies her extended family gave her a lot of support. She is married to the father of these children which considering their age seems pretty amazing. They have been married for many years and it appears to be a good marriage. She became a Christian largely due to her in law family and chose to raise her own children with more support than she had received. The schools are an important part of an adolescences education but usually family support is the most influence.
ReplyDeleteI found your stories to be very heart-warming and I thank you for sharing them. I personally do not believe in remaining abstinent, but I admit this is due to my culture upbringing and attending Catholic schools. (Please do not misunderstand me. I respect people who choose to wait until marriage or for someone they love.)
ReplyDeleteI felt as though abstinence was pressured more on the girls than it was on the boys. Personally, in school, whenever we were told to make the vow of chastity and sign this little card they gave us, I simply sat there and threw out the card. It was because I did not want to be pressured or controlled, I wanted to make my own decisions, and decide when the time was right for myself.
Because of the abstinence-only approach of my schools and my parents never speaking about sex to me, I educated myself on safe-sex. I wanted to prepare myself because I understood the risks of an unwanted pregnancy. Thank goodness I did because my high school boyfriend did not know how to properly use contraceptives!